How to Kiss

Kissing

– to join lips in respect, affection, love, passion, etc.: according to Dictionary.com

That etc is holding a lot of weight in that definition but kissing by definition has a lot of etc associated with it. A kiss can be as innocent as a polite greeting, a kiss on the cheek, to a passionate expression of sexual hunger, kissing deeply, lips pressed hard together, tongues invading each other’s mouth trying to devour each other.  The kiss of death is an expression that has no connection to affection at all. For an act as simple as bringing two lips together and pressing them against something the act of kissing is not simple at all.

To me kissing is an essential part of foreplay. If you want to get in the mood then including kissing is a must. Are there people who can do so without kissing? Of course. People can go through an entire sexual act without kissing once. But because it can be done doesn’t mean it should be. LOL  And I’m not here to tell anyone what they should do with their own bodies. For me though kissing is where the idea of sex goes from the mind to the body. 

You can tell a lot with a kiss. What kind of lover a person is can often be seen in how they kiss. Is it a passionate, no holds barred locking of lips? Soft, demure, little pecks? Do they use a lot of tongue?  Too much tongue?  Are they trying to impress you with their kiss or is it all about their pleasure and how they like doing it? What kind of impression do you want to give a lover? Start with your kiss.

How should you kiss?

A good kiss is as personal as a person’s lips, in fact lip prints are as unique as fingerprints. There are a few things that should nearly guarantee an enjoyable kissing experience.

1. Consent 
   Nothing ruins a kiss more than not wanting it. Know that whoever you’re kissing wants your kiss. Also, a good kiss is a partnership, you want to get as much as you’re giving. A fantastic kiss is so much better, easier and hot when you have someone who is into it as much as you are, returning that passion trying to feed the flames that you started.
2. Good hygiene 
   Brush your teeth regularly. Mints will be your friend. Now, this doesn’t mean you need to pop a mint in the minute you think you might get the opportunity for a kiss. But if you think you might even get close to the opportunity and you’ve had the extra garlic pasta, a mint is a good thing for after dinner or it’s been a while since you’ve had the opportunity to clean out your mouth. Basic overall hygiene is important, basic good oral hygiene is important for a good kiss.
3. Taking your time
   Take your time. Enjoy it. A good kiss will be something you want to savour.  Kissing is one of the only sexual activities you do through all phases of love making. It’s also something sexual you can do in public that is legal and socially acceptable.
   
   Take time to explore with a kiss.  Feel your lips touching your partners. Explore her mouth, kiss other parts of her body. There are spots on the neck that are huge erogenous zones. The point is to feel your partner and your lips are one of your most sensitive parts. Don’t rush through it.
4. Confidence 
   Confidence is sexy. No matter your size, gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation being confident in what you’re doing is sexy. Even if you aren’t, be confidently uncertain. When kissing, kiss with confidence. Don’t be timid with your kisses. Kiss them like you like them and they like you. This doesn’t mean you have to be aggressive with the kiss. You can do teasing or butterfly kisses with confidence. If necessary, have a gameplan. Kiss of the lips moving down the neck and up to the ear or … Confidence gives you the ability to get lost in a kiss because you aren’t worried about the kiss and you can let your feelings take over.
5. Reading your partner
   That leads me into the fifth feature of a good kiss – reading your partner.  Reading your partner is a good skill to learn for more than just kissing Think of it when kissing like dancing with your tongue and lips. Sure you can dance with your partner to your own beat, each of you doing your own thing, but it doesn’t look pretty and isn’t as exciting as when you work together building off each other, moving together, going back and forth. You move with a rhythm and syncopation, building off each other, exciting each other.
   
   How can you do this? Well listening beforehand is an excellent start and is often overlooked. Finding out what kind of person your partner is. Are they assertive? Are they looking for someone to take charge? Do they like to be in charge themselves? Talk about kissing. Are they experienced? What kind of things do they like? What was their best kiss? 
   
   Another thing in reading your partner is to be attentive to them and their reactions. If you do this well, it allows you to experiment more and on a broader spectrum which can lead to more excitement with your kisses. When kissing, a good practice is to start slowly. Gentle kisses. See how she reacts. Does she press in? Pull back? Does he make happy sounds? Does he go for tongue? These are all signs. And you can then experiment from what they tell you. More tongue? Try adding more of your own. They kiss you harder? Yield more and let them press in. Or you can do the opposite. It’s a back and forth, read and react much like a good dance.
   
   And like a good dance there is a build up. I know a lot of people think that build up is for sex but that is not necessarily so. The build up can just be a build up of emotion and excitement of kissing itself. And like most buildups it isn’t necessarily a straight line. There are ebbs and spikes or like dancing with a partner, slower and faster parts/dances. In fact, building up and then moving deliberately to slow things down can be an erotic tease. Again, it goes back to reading your partner. Having and building that trust to experiment and create. 
   
   So read your partner when kissing, and also remember your own likes and preferences. Do you like slow kisses? Rough, wet kisses? There should be give and take with a good kiss from both parties. Great kisses are enjoyed by all

Now what does all this kissing get you? Well, like I said before, many people think of kissing as sort of the doorway to sexual intercourse. Like starting a car and warming it up before sliding into gear and going. And great kissing can lead to sex but that’s not all, and I would say should not even be a primary goal of great kissing. Great kissing and being a great kisser is really a pleasure unto itself. Kissing feels good! Great kisses should make you feel … great. And that is with or without sex. Kissing also isi a good way of connecting, expressing love and appreciation, creating and sharing intimacy. If you have a reputation as a great kisser people are going to want to kiss you. And that can help you when looking for dates. I mean if you heard “the breakup was bad but boy could he/she/they kiss” it’s going to be a little intriguing to find out what was so good with that kiss. And knowing you’re a great kisser gives you confidence. You know you’re good and you can’t wait to show what you can do.

So as a writer you know I can’t let an article go by on kissing without at least giving an example.  GRIN

An example of a good kiss –

	His lips touched hers with the lightness of a feather, tickling her lips and her senses. She responded by pressing her lips to his, His hand moved to her back pulling her closer. He slid his tongue between her lips.  She pulled back a little, his tongue probed no further.  He kissed down her neck and she tilted her head to the side giving him free reign. He hungrily kissed down her neck to the base and that special spot between her shoulder and neck that drove her wild.  He sucked and nibbled. Low melodic moans came from her lips.  She moved her head searching for and finding his lips. Her hunger for his kiss was ravenous as she sucked his tongue into her mouth, swirling her tongue round and round. His hands moved to cup her breasts, his thumb pressing her nipples, moving them in circles as they hardened beneath her shirt fabric. ...

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