
It’s carnival time
Bright lights, pretty costumes
Dancers in a parade
I can’t help but think of her
Dark skin, bright smile
Hips that swayed and told lies
***
You can’t shout over the music
Loud rhythms and pounding beats
I didn’t catch your name … or eye
Too many drinks
With umbrellas
Can’t catch my lonely tears
This poem was from a prompt from dVerse: Write a cherita in either 1-2-3 form or 3-2-1 form OR write a double cherita where the second part mirrors the first: 1-2-3 then 3-2-1, as we did for Laura’s prompt.
My inspiration was Toronto’s Caribbean Carnival or Caribana as it used to be called. It’s a big summer festival here that is pretty well known. I’ve never been funny enough.
What a sad end.🥺
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Such is often the way of summer time infatuations.
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Stuart, this feels like a bittersweet snapshot—vivid colors and movement on the outside, but that quiet ache running underneath really comes through.
~David
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Ah, he’s such a romantic!
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I attended once and it was filled with traffic & chaos. Love the focus of your verses – with hips that swayed and told lies. Though it is loud with music and pounding beats, you caught the loneliness and sadness underneath.
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Traffic in Toronto?? Nooo! heheh! I can imagine but for those who enjoy I bet it’s a lot of fun. Thank you so much for your comments and reading 🙏🏾
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Was the shakira reference intential with those lying hips… so easy to be tempted by beauty
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It was intentional. Have you ever seen the way the hips move when they dance? Gotta be lies. LOL The temptation is not in the beauty but the desire. 😉
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Loneliness in the crowd. Great condensed imagery here, Stew! Very well done.
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Thank you Merril! So glad you enjoyed it
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You’re very welcome.
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Great contrast of imagery here 🙌
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Thank you! 😊 I think they work well off each other.
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There’s a million poems in the idea of what could’ve been!
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What if? If only. Everything rhymes in the past. When you look back. 😊 Thanks for reading!
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Stew your double cherita is so well-done and the story is part wishful thinking and part cold hard fact. I feel sorry for his too-many tears. Reminds me of a Doors song, “women seem wicked when you’re not wanted.”
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Thank you Li! These things happen when you’re strange. 😉
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You are welcome. I always thought that was a brilliant line in a brilliant song.
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What beautiful contrasts in this poem.. festivities with underlying sadness.. Those hips that told lies? Intriguing.
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Thank you. I think they play off each other well.
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