Sunlight smiles upon her
As light greets light
Shines in any room she enters
Brightness spills through the blinds
Illuminating.
We have not come to the end, just another beginning. A beginning at the end of the time before, that which we knew becomes that which is once more. So this is not the end my friend but just another hello.
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– to join lips in respect, affection, love, passion, etc.: according to Dictionary.com
That etc is holding a lot of weight in that definition but kissing by definition has a lot of etc associated with it. A kiss can be as innocent as a polite greeting, a kiss on the cheek, to a passionate expression of sexual hunger, kissing deeply, lips pressed hard together, tongues invading each other’s mouth trying to devour each other. The kiss of death is an expression that has no connection to affection at all. For an act as simple as bringing two lips together and pressing them against something the act of kissing is not simple at all.
To me kissing is an essential part of foreplay. If you want to get in the mood then including kissing is a must. Are there people who can do so without kissing? Of course. People can go through an entire sexual act without kissing once. But because it can be done doesn’t mean it should be. LOL And I’m not here to tell anyone what they should do with their own bodies. For me though kissing is where the idea of sex goes from the mind to the body.
You can tell a lot with a kiss. What kind of lover a person is can often be seen in how they kiss. Is it a passionate, no holds barred locking of lips? Soft, demure, little pecks? Do they use a lot of tongue? Too much tongue? Are they trying to impress you with their kiss or is it all about their pleasure and how they like doing it? What kind of impression do you want to give a lover? Start with your kiss.
A good kiss is as personal as a person’s lips, in fact lip prints are as unique as fingerprints. There are a few things that should nearly guarantee an enjoyable kissing experience.
Consent Nothing ruins a kiss more than not wanting it. Know that whoever you’re kissing wants your kiss. Also, a good kiss is a partnership, you want to get as much as you’re giving. A fantastic kiss is so much better, easier and hot when you have someone who is into it as much as you are, returning that passion trying to feed the flames that you started.
Good hygiene Brush your teeth regularly. Mints will be your friend. Now, this doesn’t mean you need to pop a mint in the minute you think you might get the opportunity for a kiss. But if you think you might even get close to the opportunity and you’ve had the extra garlic pasta, a mint is a good thing for after dinner or it’s been a while since you’ve had the opportunity to clean out your mouth. Basic overall hygiene is important, basic good oral hygiene is important for a good kiss.
Taking your time Take your time. Enjoy it. A good kiss will be something you want to savour. Kissing is one of the only sexual activities you do through all phases of love making. It’s also something sexual you can do in public that is legal and socially acceptable.
Take time to explore with a kiss. Feel your lips touching your partners. Explore her mouth, kiss other parts of her body. There are spots on the neck that are huge erogenous zones. The point is to feel your partner and your lips are one of your most sensitive parts. Don’t rush through it.
Confidence Confidence is sexy. No matter your size, gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation being confident in what you’re doing is sexy. Even if you aren’t, be confidently uncertain. When kissing, kiss with confidence. Don’t be timid with your kisses. Kiss them like you like them and they like you. This doesn’t mean you have to be aggressive with the kiss. You can do teasing or butterfly kisses with confidence. If necessary, have a gameplan. Kiss of the lips moving down the neck and up to the ear or … Confidence gives you the ability to get lost in a kiss because you aren’t worried about the kiss and you can let your feelings take over.
Reading your partner That leads me into the fifth feature of a good kiss – reading your partner. Reading your partner is a good skill to learn for more than just kissing Think of it when kissing like dancing with your tongue and lips. Sure you can dance with your partner to your own beat, each of you doing your own thing, but it doesn’t look pretty and isn’t as exciting as when you work together building off each other, moving together, going back and forth. You move with a rhythm and syncopation, building off each other, exciting each other.
How can you do this? Well listening beforehand is an excellent start and is often overlooked. Finding out what kind of person your partner is. Are they assertive? Are they looking for someone to take charge? Do they like to be in charge themselves? Talk about kissing. Are they experienced? What kind of things do they like? What was their best kiss?
Another thing in reading your partner is to be attentive to them and their reactions. If you do this well, it allows you to experiment more and on a broader spectrum which can lead to more excitement with your kisses. When kissing, a good practice is to start slowly. Gentle kisses. See how she reacts. Does she press in? Pull back? Does he make happy sounds? Does he go for tongue? These are all signs. And you can then experiment from what they tell you. More tongue? Try adding more of your own. They kiss you harder? Yield more and let them press in. Or you can do the opposite. It’s a back and forth, read and react much like a good dance.
And like a good dance there is a build up. I know a lot of people think that build up is for sex but that is not necessarily so. The build up can just be a build up of emotion and excitement of kissing itself. And like most buildups it isn’t necessarily a straight line. There are ebbs and spikes or like dancing with a partner, slower and faster parts/dances. In fact, building up and then moving deliberately to slow things down can be an erotic tease. Again, it goes back to reading your partner. Having and building that trust to experiment and create.
So read your partner when kissing, and also remember your own likes and preferences. Do you like slow kisses? Rough, wet kisses? There should be give and take with a good kiss from both parties. Great kisses are enjoyed by all
Now what does all this kissing get you? Well, like I said before, many people think of kissing as sort of the doorway to sexual intercourse. Like starting a car and warming it up before sliding into gear and going. And great kissing can lead to sex but that’s not all, and I would say should not even be a primary goal of great kissing. Great kissing and being a great kisser is really a pleasure unto itself. Kissing feels good! Great kisses should make you feel … great. And that is with or without sex. Kissing also isi a good way of connecting, expressing love and appreciation, creating and sharing intimacy. If you have a reputation as a great kisser people are going to want to kiss you. And that can help you when looking for dates. I mean if you heard “the breakup was bad but boy could he/she/they kiss” it’s going to be a little intriguing to find out what was so good with that kiss. And knowing you’re a great kisser gives you confidence. You know you’re good and you can’t wait to show what you can do.
So as a writer you know I can’t let an article go by on kissing without at least giving an example. GRIN
An example of a good kiss –
His lips touched hers with the lightness of a feather, tickling her lips and her senses. She responded by pressing her lips to his, His hand moved to her back pulling her closer. He slid his tongue between her lips. She pulled back a little, his tongue probed no further. He kissed down her neck and she tilted her head to the side giving him free reign. He hungrily kissed down her neck to the base and that special spot between her shoulder and neck that drove her wild. He sucked and nibbled. Low melodic moans came from her lips. She moved her head searching for and finding his lips. Her hunger for his kiss was ravenous as she sucked his tongue into her mouth, swirling her tongue round and round. His hands moved to cup her breasts, his thumb pressing her nipples, moving them in circles as they hardened beneath her shirt fabric. ...
A short story involving a hardened woman, a lustful man trying to pick her up, and an encounter based on a kiss. Just One Kiss, an erotic short story that will make you wonder is Just One Kiss enough to get you in bed?
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Feeling lost and swept away
Nowhere to anchor your thoughts
Even less to anchor your soul
Let my touch be your compass
Float as my lips find yours
As my tongue anchors your senses
On the pleasure I can bring.
Let me take you to my parlour.
Oh, are you a spider?
I already know you fly.
Trail my kisses down your collar
Up to your lips
Slip your lips,
With my tongue
In between, unseen,
To deliver, delve and delight.
Let me take you to the den.
Oh, are you a bear?
And I Goldilocks for a visit.
Hold you in my arms
Display my charms
Tickle your fancy in the most delightful ways.
Moan softly in your ear
And kiss away all doubts and fears.
Let me take you to the kitchen.
To put a bun in my oven?
Do you have yeast to rise?
Put you on the counter
A pedestal. a full meal on a platter of silver
To eat and gorge
Sucking, slurping, swallowing down
Drunk with that most intoxicating of juice
Let me take you to the bedroom.
Put me to sleep
Perchance to dream of a lover’s kiss?
Lay you down and lift you up
Into the pleasures of heaven’s grasp
Hands above head
Head below waist
Entering, filling, fulfilling
All your wanton wants and desires.
Let me take you to bed
No.
Let me lay beside you.
No.
To fill you.
No.
Please you,
No.
And leave you so happy.
Yes.
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Hunger in denial
A wild one, tamed beast
Hidden beneath a demur smile.
See her walk down the hall
Prancing, stalking stride
I watch her
Too many, they pass her by.
Too shy, too soft, too aloof
To you she is boring
Unappealing in her way
To her
You are too boring
To be prey.
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Sometimes what we need is not an ally but a friend.
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
Not every person needs every person to be an ally at all times. Sometimes it is more helpful to be a friend than an ally. I say this as a visible minority writer but not out of being a visible minority writer. Nor do I speak for all visible minorities, minorities in general or people in general. I’m not trying to be the spokesperson for anyone but me. But I would hope that you can take what I say and apply it to others where propper or at the least take a moment to think.
I will say we all need allies. Minorities especially precisely because we are minorities. Being a minority means being in the lesser number of a group, this by definition means having less allies than another group. Having allies helps when the odds are stacked against you or even with the odds in your favor; it means you’re not alone or your group is not by itself. This can help in verifying that you’re on the right path.
Not everyone who is with you can be an ally though. And not everyone you support needs you to be an ally. Allies fight together. If you can’t fight, having you as an ally does not do much good. Allies go to battle together, go to war together. If you are only an ally when the stakes are low or if you’re only an ally for a moment you’re not much of an ally.
Friends are different. Friends are there for you when the fighting ends. That’s not to say friends can’t be allies. If all your friends aren’t your allies and vice versa you might want to take a look at your relationships but you can have some allies that aren’t your friend and some friends who are not your allies, at least not in every fight.
I’m not everyone’s ally. I”m not even a lot of people’s ally. I can be a lot of people’s friend or at least friendly to a lot of people, which is almost as good, especially these days. I am not going to fight all the battles with you, even if I agree with you. And this may be a shock but sometimes I don’t agree with people. Sometimes even with people I am friendly with. Many people are looking for allies, someone to go in the trenches with, their ride or die; especially on social media, where the price of fighting is not that high. I’m not that guy most of the time. I have my own battles I’m fighting, I’m not a big fight guy, also many of the fights or the way you’re fighting are not that significant. Yes, I agree with your right to do and be you, no I don’t need to shout at some guy over the computer, no I don’t need to socially isolate them. Those are not battle tactics I see as being real difference makers. So, no, I’m not your ally in this fight.
Now I can be your friend. I can help you commiserate over the amount of assholes in the world. I can listen to your point of view and agree where I agree and respect our differences. I can offer a distraction or amusement. I can bring a smile to your face. Friend type things.
I know you aren’t going to be there for my every battle as well. Our circles are small, a tight knit group or various tight knit groups bound by our love of a singular event/opinion/characteristic. These are my allies. You, you are my friend. You are the one I can share a joke with. I can count on you for a random like. You’ll read my bullshit with a smile.
You are someone I need. Not an ally, but a friend.
Twisting, turning, hot passion in the night. Alone but together. They reach towards each other the miles separating them torn apart by the dream. Their touch is fire, hot and burning. The ice running through their veins sending steam in the air. They are hot and cold, heat and cool, opposites attracted by more than magnetism, stronger than any pull.
Her lips touch his and they burn and burst, his tongue slides in her mouth and floods her with emotion. She reaches and pulls him into her. They merge and are one. Their bodies move with a mind of it’s own. Animal instinct fueled by human intellect charged with powerful emotion. Suns shine cold in comparison to their radiation.
His hands on her neck, followed by his kiss. She turns taking him, guiding him flowing beneath his hands as he takes her where she needs to be. He fills her even though he isn’t there. He holds her in his heart, in a warmth, a cradle, a protection of love, where she fits like no other. She’s made herself not at home but made it part of her.
He sees her as she is and sees light. Beauty fades as he looks in her eyes. He sees neither old nor young but eternity. He longs to spend eternity looking in her eyes, holding her hand. She looks back and sees the reflection of him in her eyes. He is her vision. The sight she sees is him. In the sky, the trees, the city line. They are him, he has taught her to see, opened her eyes, shined in her world. She closes her eyes and sees him. The depth of him. His soul.
The light fades through the morning and they retreat from the dream. Her body tingles with the touch of his fingertips. His body aches with his need. Their conscious floats then they sink into each others respective homes. This corporal shell this fragile place. She looks. He’s lying beside her again. She closes her eyes and sleeps.
