Winter or Spring

Imaginary/
Lines that make borders seem real
Communication

“So what did it say? More winter or early spring?”

“Which one?”

“What do you mean which one? The little rodent in the ground. Pops out, sees his shadow, boom, more snow or doesn’t and bam, sunshine and flowers. The groundhog.”

“Yes but which groundhog? The Canadian or the American?”

“What do I care about Canada for? I ain’t huntin’ moose and eating maple syrup. I just want to know if I gotta shovel any more snow.”

“Ahhh. In that case Punxsutawney Phil did see his shadow. Sorry buddy.”

“What about the Canuck ones?”

“Early spring.”

“They should get together and come to consensus.”

“What, like they have a meeting and decide whether to see their shadow or not?”

“Yeah!”

“Oh Donnie. That’s the silliest thing I’ve ever heard. What am I going to do with you?”

Furry weathermen
Winter and Spring collusion
Three in one decide

“Okay boys, let’s get this show on the road,” said Phil trying to gather the other two to the table.

“Why are you always in charge?” asked Willie.

“Because I’m the American,” replied Phil, standing a little taller. “It’s nature’s way.”

“Sod off,” said Fred, his French Canadian accent giving the expression an even deeper sense of rudeness.

“Come on Fred,” said Willie, always one to be polite, “Let’s not get started off on the wrong foot.”

“Yeah Fred, come on, so we can get this meeting over with. I still have to get back to Pennsylvania.”

“You know we could have done this in Montreal. At least we’d be in a real city,” complained Fred as he pulled up a chair to the table.

“We all agreed we’d meet in Syracuse as it was the most central for all of us,” said Phil

“And Phil can’t cross the border,” chimed in Willie, chuckling.

“It was one time! Besides, it’s legal up there.”

“And the gun?” asked Fred.

“Meh. Everybody has a gun down here. I forgot about it.” Phil shrugged.

“Luckily, you’re a bit of a celebrity. They let you off easy,” said Willie.

“It was a different time. Besides that’s not why we’re here. We’ve got to decide this whole spring or winter thing for 2026.”

“Winter can bugger off for all I care,” said Fred, “I’m voting spring all day.”

“You can’t just vote like that,” said Phil.

“Yeah, what if everybody voted without thinking. No offense,” said Willie turning to Phil.

“None taken,” said Phil.

“I mean if everybody just voted based on how they felt at the moment, think of what kind of mess there would be, again no offense,” said Willie turning to Phil, “Besides, we have a reputation to think of. People would think we were some kind of idiots voting like that, again no offense.”

“I’m beginning to think there is some offense there,” said Phil.

“Sorry.” said Willie.

“Listen. I’m voting spring. You can vote how you like,” said Fred. He crossed his arms and sat back in the chair.

“Well my vote is for winter,” said Phil.

“This wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with you buying into a salt mining business would it?” asked Fred, arching an eyebrow.

“It might, it might. But with 6 more weeks of winter I get to stay in my hole and not be bothered by people. And we need the cool. Have you seen the summers around here lately? A little global chilling to balance out this global warming is a good thing.”

“Hmph,” said Fred, “Well Willie old boy, seems like you get to break the tie.”

“Game 7,” said Phil.

“Ontario is up to bat,” said Fred.

“Or taking the ice,” said Phil.

“Either way, we know what’s going to happen,” said Fred.

“Listen, the two of you can kiss my -” said Willie, before he started choking. 

“You okay?” asked Fred and Phil after a couple of minutes watching Willie choke.

“Yeah, I’m fine. And bring on spring! I’ve got a good feeling.”

Phil and Fred rolled their eyes.

Rain or snow showers
The world still turns endlessly
Winter becomes Spring

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This is for a dVerse prompt: Write a haibun alluding to Groundhog Day.

Did you know that there is a groundhog for groundhog’s day in the US and in Canada? Actually there are several but the one’s I heard about were the Ontario one: Wiarton Willie, the Quebec one: Fred la Marmotte and the Pennsylvania one: Punxsutawney Phil.

The opportunity for a comedic piece was too strong for me to resist. I hope you enjoy! 😁