I yam who I yam

How do you keep silent
On a cold winter’s day
Like the snores of a snake
Hibernating in some forgotten hole?

Do you bury your head? 
A gopher in a field or 
Perhaps an ostrich in the sand,
Your head buried like treasure.

It’s the polite thing to do,
To say nothing,
When inside your head 
Spins a running commentary

Like a golf tournament
Announcer wincing in whispered tone,
‘Ooo that one is gonna cost him, Bob’,
As you watch him flounder like some landed fish.

I am not like you;
I must spout off like a teapot,
Boiling with indignity,
Uncouth in my opinion.

You sir are a buffoon and she deserves better!
And yes I know the location is not ideal
And the timing could be better.
Perhaps I should know who they are before I speak.

But I am who I am,
Like some pipe smoking, sailor man;
Hyped up on spinach canned.
Love me as if you understand.

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This is for a dVerse prompt: Whatever the subject you choose to write on for this poetics challenge, I’d like you to use the rhetorical device of a simile.

“As you know, a simile is a comparison between two unlike things using the words, “like” or “as.” The word “simile” itself is a Latin word meaning “like.” And we use a simile to describe or explain something unfamiliar, or to expand on or distill an abstraction, by relating it to something more familiar. As a rhetorical tool, it‘s very effective in conveying meaning while giving pleasure in discovering resemblances. But it also satisfies our deep emotional or psychological need not merely to inform but to relate to one another.”

I hope you enjoy! 😊