We Need To Talk

Red color silence
Anger in the words not said
I long to listen

I hate when she does this to me. So demure, so fragile, curled up within herself. Shutting me out. It no longer is about what was done, I was wrong as was she, but this silent war has become our battlefield. The initial shots that started the conflict, like true war, are long forgotten in the bombings of words not said. Hurt feelings lay like open scars; maimed soldiers screaming in their voiceless ways for help. I tiptoe through shared spaces, navigating a minefield, the tripwire of speech certain to set off an explosion. Silence is golden yet I long for the boom.

Provoke her! Yell the war hawks in my head. Get her to fire and expose her position. But I am a veteran of the silent wars. Speak civil, speak sparse. Emotions are terrain too valuable to lose. Sentences can lead to conversation, conversation to confession, confession to contriteness and then all is lost. I will not be the first to bow to the silent winds. Everything I say can and will be used against me. Besides, this time I’m not the only one. 

Silence has seeped into the very bones of our home. A war torn, shelled out area where the killing of conversation hangs in the air like the foul stench of death. The passing of ghosts as we walk from room to room. Silent wraiths of bitterness, haunted by past aggressions. Even when words are spoken they seem hollow; silenced of meaning. Hello. How are you? Do you want to eat? Okay. 

I can’t take any more. A battle won must be worth the prize. I’m not even angry anymore. I’m tired, beat down by the silence of my own thoughts. I’ll come humble, hat in hand. I’ll come angry, full of bluster and fury. I’ll come with measured words intertwined with wisdom. All I know is that I must come and this silence must end. Speak to me of wrongs to be made right. Shortcomings that have missed the mark. Tell me what must be done to make amends.

“Babe, we need to talk.”

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This is for a dVerse prompt: Let’s ponder silence as we understand it. Then bear witness to it in haibun! This week, write a haibun that alludes to [silence] in any way that works for you. Hope you enjoy! 😊

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